Due to the high volume of incoming applications, we have compiled an overview of relevant information for potential candidates regarding our recruitment process, selection criteria, and subsequent steps in our hiring workflow.

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At present, there are unfortunately no open positions. However, you are more than welcome to submit a speculative application—whether in the form of a portfolio, a video link, or any other creative format. Before doing so, please read this text in its entirety and watch the testimonial video of a former team member.

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Dear Applicants,
Welcome to the world of the architecture firm Opposite Office – the place where your dreams of leisure time and pension entitlements will be put to the ultimate test! Considering sending us your application? Hold it right there! We’ve prepared a few compelling reasons why you might want to reconsider:

 

1. High expertise required: At Opposite Office, we set the bar high—so high, in fact, that even we sometimes have trouble getting over it. If you’re not prepared to push your skills to the absolute limit, this might not be the right place for you.

2. Plenty of overtime: Free time? Unheard of. Here, every day is an epic adventure filled with unpaid overtime. After all, we don’t just design buildings—we also refine our collective sleep deprivation.

Unpaid, non-commercial projects: They say money doesn’t stink, but here it sometimes smells faintly of the tears of our creativity. Our projects are so non-commercial that even money itself chooses to stay away.

3. No board of directors: Hierarchy? Not here! We believe the best decisions are made when no one is making them. Sounds complicated? Welcome to Opposite Office.

4. Flat hierarchies: Yes, you read that correctly. Our hierarchies are flatter than a pancake. If you’re looking for someone to bring coffee to, just look in the mirror.

5. No proper HR department: Our HR is so relaxed it doesn’t even exist. Problems are simply ignored until they disappear on their own—a tried and tested method that works brilliantly for us.

6. No pension entitlements: Retirement? That sounds like a fairy tale from another dimension. Here, we work hard until the concept of pensions fades into oblivion.

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But don’t worry—there’s good news too! If you’re looking for a place where you can unleash your boundless creativity, embrace overtime as a lifestyle, and lovingly take on unpaid projects, then Opposite Office is exactly where you belong.

So, best of luck finding your perfect workplace—but remember: at Opposite Office, the staircase to success is actually a slippery water slide! 🚀

If you still can’t resist, feel free to send us an email—just don’t expect a reply.

P.S. Any applications beginning with “Dear Hiring Manager” or “To whom it may concern” will go straight to the recycling bin and will not be answered.